Baby steps

Gotta record this…

I FINALLY witnessed Little Foot take a couple of steps without holding onto anything.

I know she’s been doing it since last week, but refused to show me. Until today.

A lot of mixed feelings at this juncture. So proud of you, yet so sad to be reminded of how fast you are waving goodbye to babyhood.

I still remember your tummy times…

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I still remember your first swim…

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I still remember your “planking” days…

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I still remember you practicing so hard just to roll over…

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I still remember how you finally could crawl and get yourself to a sitting position.

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I still remember you trying your hardest to leopard crawl across the playmat after much encouragement.

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I still remember the days you couldn’t stand and we made you look like you could…

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And I still remember the days when you were practicing how to stay up in a sitting position…

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All these all so fresh and vivid in my mind.
Yet, 15 months and 10 days have flown by just like this… as your baby steps gets more, I feel a little fearful…

How long can I keep you safe beside me?

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And to mark a relatively good evening with Little Foot, shortly after I got home from work, she had pulled the Kinderpack and insisted on being carried by me for awhile.

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She also did a couple of laps in the corridor in her walker.

I know her time in the walker will be ending soon… and I treasure every moment I can see her in it.

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Throwback to a couple of months ago

Need to remind myself, this is how motherhood is. Enjoy every moment and every milestone. We are making memories at every instance.

I’m happy I have been with her for so many milestones…looking back, I can’t help but let my tears roll… we made it this far, and it’s amazing how my Little Foot has blossomed.

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50 Weeks + 1 day

It’s 11pm. A newborn in the neighbourhood is crying. He/she has cried a few times already.

I sat in my quiet living room having a cup noodle (my 2nd one since a long time before I gave birth). Little Foot had slept at 9pm sharp today, after a tiring afternoon out at Punggol Waterways.

As I sat and listened to the distant crying, I’m reminded of Little Foot’s colic days… even then, as Daddy Long reminded me, she had never cried for too long. We always had some tricks that magically worked to soothe her.

Today, Little Foot is 50 weeks old… those colicky days felt like a long long time ago. With this thought, I suddenly felt just a little old, a little wistful, perhaps a little slow.

2 weeks to her 1st birthday.

I haven’t quite gotten my head wrapped around the fact that my precious baby Little Foot will no longer be a baby anymore. (Now we know why some people enter adulthood with their parents calling them Ah Bee!)

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While she hasn’t learned to sleep through the night, we have established some sort of routine (a baby led one) that gets her to bed most days at a decent hour. Nevermind that she would wake several times at night.

I don’t envy the parents who are dealing with the crying newborn.  It used to be all these “what do you need??!”,  “What can I do to make you feel better??!” going through my head, whenever the baby keeps bawling and I start ticking off the mental checklist in your head and arrive at “I don’t know what the fishcakes is wrong with her!”.

To the newborn’s parents, trust me, it will get better. YOU will get better at it. And trust me, 10 months down the road, you will be like me, sitting in the living room reminiscing about your baby’s newborn days when you hear other babies cry… days that were so fleeting and you somehow miss. As those days were so trying, they became such precious memories. Because they symbolised the kind of mother I was. Those days laid the good foundation for me. They gave me courage to say “Come what may, I am a mother, I will wing it” whenever things gets tough.

I miss my newborn Little Foot, I miss the tiny baby I used to hold with 1 arm. At the same time, I love this adventurous, cheeky Little Foot that she has grown to become,  and I look forward to more exciting and heartwarming times with her.

Facebook prompted me that on this day a year ago, our diapers orders had arrived. Those newborn size diapers are long gone. What left was the memories of a baby whose butt was so small, and who looked overwhelmed in those diapers while her umbilical cord peeped through.

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This is Parenthood. Chasing the future, missing the past, and more importantly, embracing the present.

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It’s a lovely journey isn’t it?