The crossover to Toddlerhood

This week, Little Foot turned 18 months. Officially according to the authorities (ECDA specifically), this means she’s no longer an infant.

As the curtains come down on our infant journey with our firstborn,  Papa Long and I have been randomly looking at old photos and video clips of Little Foot’s growth….

from the little blinking bean in my tummy whom we would see on the ultrasound machines

… to finally meeting you for the first time

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…. the baby I proudly carried in one arm, football style, and walked out of KKH…

… to the teeny weeny but very observant baby who woke and fussed for milk evry 2 hours

… to the baby who gave me courage enough to venture out with her in carrier, all the time hugging me tight or giving me deep knowing gazing (as if  telling me, “Mummy, I trust you. Trust yourself too”)

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… to the bloated baby who bravely battled colic and never lost her faith in me even as I despaired and got angry with myself

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… to the little “Flower legs” who cafe-hopped and travelled with us.

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… to the foodie that struggles to get her hands on everything that we are eating

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… to the little bouncy biter in the exersaucer

… to the tetrapak-chewing baby who rejected teethers

… to the gleeful girl who zipped around the house in the walker

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… to the cheeky baby who learnt to play peekaboo back at us

… to the book chomper turned book flipper

… to the baby who loved bubbles and balloons and refer to them as “Babom Babom! ”

… to the swing – loving baby who impressed all the strangers with “Look! That baby is swinging!”

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… to the little apprehensive swimmer

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… to the youtube and BabyTV fan

… to the baby who proudly walked around pushing chairs and baskets

… to the baby who loved balls

Slowly and steadily, she has grown and sprouted without us really realising that the metamorphosis had happened. 

There are days when I marvel at her witty and charming ways and days that I am caught in situations where I don’t quite know how to deal with the tantrums and stubbornness.

Welcome to Toddlerhood, Yes?  🙂

Dear Little Foot,

Life is busy because you are around. You fill up the hours so quickly when we are engrossed with being with you. Days turn to weeks, and weeks turned to months as I hurry along each day to get work done and get home to you, and we countdown to weekends so that we can be plastered together for 2 whole days.

And here we are, at this major milestone. 

Next week you will go to school.

It will be where you meet your first friends and teachers. It will be where you realise that there are more people to hold dear than these three people whom your life has revolved around for the past 18 months.

I hope school will be fun for you… I hope that you will still retain your sense of adventure even as we place you into a system that may try to mold you while it tries to help you reach for the stars.

I fear. I fear that the system may mold you into something you are intrinsically not.

I fear. I fear that the system may lead you away from what you love to do, to what the system would like you to love to do.

I fear. I fear that I may resent how the world may show you that you are not special, but I know I have to let the world teach you that the Sun and Moon doesn’t revolve around you.

As your parents, we can only keep reminding ourselves not to get lost and blinded by the “competition” in the system…  to place your happiness and welfare at the centre of it all… to guide you to be the best that you can be, to love God, to love life, to be kind to others, to celebrate simplicity….to help you reach a purposeful life. I use purposeful, not successful.  That I feel is how one should live….. yet these are early days,  I just pray not to get too caught up in the race.

My dearest Baby Pie… I am grateful you continue to have complete faith in us, knowing we will catch you or pick up when you fall. I am grateful that you still get upset when I leave you for work each morning. I am grateful that you still exclaim in sheer delight whenever we appear at the front door after a day at work.

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I hope you will always know that we are here for you with open arms and open hearts.

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Happy and Blessed 18 months my dearest only child. It’s been a fulfilling journey being your parents. May you always find joy in simple things and enjoy good health too. May you never lose faith in yourself, us and God. May you always carry your tenacity and that happy smile with you in life.

Remember, we will always be here to hold you, to catch you if you ever do trip up. Have no fear and soar like the Eagle, up up in the sky!

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We love you forever and always. Thank you for making us your Mummy and  Daddy…. you were the most perfect in our eyes from the first time we met.

Baby steps

Gotta record this…

I FINALLY witnessed Little Foot take a couple of steps without holding onto anything.

I know she’s been doing it since last week, but refused to show me. Until today.

A lot of mixed feelings at this juncture. So proud of you, yet so sad to be reminded of how fast you are waving goodbye to babyhood.

I still remember your tummy times…

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I still remember your first swim…

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I still remember your “planking” days…

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I still remember you practicing so hard just to roll over…

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I still remember how you finally could crawl and get yourself to a sitting position.

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I still remember you trying your hardest to leopard crawl across the playmat after much encouragement.

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I still remember the days you couldn’t stand and we made you look like you could…

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And I still remember the days when you were practicing how to stay up in a sitting position…

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All these all so fresh and vivid in my mind.
Yet, 15 months and 10 days have flown by just like this… as your baby steps gets more, I feel a little fearful…

How long can I keep you safe beside me?

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And to mark a relatively good evening with Little Foot, shortly after I got home from work, she had pulled the Kinderpack and insisted on being carried by me for awhile.

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She also did a couple of laps in the corridor in her walker.

I know her time in the walker will be ending soon… and I treasure every moment I can see her in it.

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Throwback to a couple of months ago

Need to remind myself, this is how motherhood is. Enjoy every moment and every milestone. We are making memories at every instance.

I’m happy I have been with her for so many milestones…looking back, I can’t help but let my tears roll… we made it this far, and it’s amazing how my Little Foot has blossomed.

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15 months…. of milestones

Little Foot is 15 months today.

Wow… really, where has all the time gone by?

Every month on this day, I ask myself the same question.

Being a working mother is tough emotionally. Same for the working father.  We go through each day trying to run home as early as possible, just to catch that short window of time before baby falls asleep. And you hope in that short 1 to 2 hours before bedtime, she will suddenly crawl, nod head, clap or walk for the first time. It’s heart wrenching when I am informed that she has crawled or taken a step on her own.
At least I can faithfully celebrate every month-niversary. Today we went for a playdate.  I think she had fun 🙂

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15 months…

♡ Little Foot is more steadily standing and walking assisted. Still not quite ready to let go and walk on her own.
♡ Has 7 teeth (the 8th coming out)
♡Recently developed a bad habit of having meltdowns (terrible two starts early?)
♡ Had tried so many different types of food because of our Taiwan trip.

Some things remains the same…

♡ She still needs to be rocked to sleep in carrier for her naps
♡ Still needs to nurse to sleep at night
♡ Still doesn’t seep through the night
♡ Still encounters constipation / hard stools frequently
♡ Still a biscuit and puffs monster
♡ Still a fan of tetrapaks and straws

15 months on, and I am still a breastfeeding mummy… some days I think of stopping, but watching your restless sleeps, I can’t bear to. Don’t worry, mummy’s  not in a hurry. Be my baby a little longer ok?

Love you lots, my silly kissy baby. I continue to pray that you will always sing your own tune in life, and not feel pressured by your surroundings to conform. I know every milestone,  you are going at your own pace, take your time, baby,  the road ahead is long!

15 months together has been a road filled with self – discovery, laughter and tears… and that’s what makes this journey meaningful and memorable.

I look forward to being here for you for many many more months and years ahead… making memories together.

Hope your flu that is making you grumpy goes away soon!

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Stand up!

Came home late, but earlier than planned tonight. Had to cancel my haircut and colouring session because I was really feeling tired and under the weather. 

Best decision ever to come back before Little Foot went to bed.

She proudly got up and stood unassisted for us to see when I was reading some books to her.

Seems like she has been practicing hard.

I’m so proud of her everytime she reaches a new milestone,  but as the milestones cards run out, I can’t help but feel sad and a little emo.

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Everyday, Facebook prompts me “On this day last year” and I get reminded of how tiny and fragile she used to be.
That makes me emo too.

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Little Foot one year ago, clinging to me as she battled colic

I love you so so so much …. then, now, and always… stay cute at every stage ok?

#alwaysbemybaby

XOXO
Mummy

Happy Labour Day to me

This time last year,  I was getting ready to be wheeled into the operating theatre after we induced but failed to dilate far enough for baby to be delivered naturally. 12 hours of contractions under epidural, baby heart beat dropped once throughout the process, and I was running a temperature.

I just wanted to get her out asap so that she is well and safe.

Today, she’s lying here beside me in bed, asleep after a long day.

Happy Labour day to me & happy birthday to my Little Foot.

It was all worth it.

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A preview photo from today’s party spoke a thousand words. The two most important people in my life, you both complete me. And thank you Little Foot,  for bringing out this loving side of your Daddy.

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Still amazed at how much you have grown!

Count to 10!

Yep… Little Foot is 10 Months young today. Time ah time…. why did you just fleet by?

Life has become busier with her becoming more mobile. She’s now a good crawler, mastering tummy off ground just a couple of days ago. And always testing waters… going to the edge of the bed, crawling beyond the playmat to the dining area. She’s also been pulling herself up to stand, and finally figured out how to manoeuvre the baby walker, steering right into the kitchen after us!

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And finally there is a distinct bump of a tooth trying hard to cut through her gums. Gummy smile will soon be no more… I will miss it, but at 10 months,  it’s about time some teeth showed!

Thank you for 10 months of love my Little Foot… I know you love me even when  you are pulling my hair really hard.

Oh man…time flies and the 1st birthday is approaching!  Time to stop slacking and start the preparations!

And we have 1 month left to figure out how to settle your milk affairs without latching. Please take to the bottle (and formula milk) soon!

P.S.  I managed to bake today. Makes me happy although Little Foot kept making noise and wanted to latch, I had to take a break in between the first and second batch of cookies. I still remembered that the last time I baked, she were not even 20 weeks old in my tummy….then I baked because I had a sudden urge to, and my mum said it must be a girl! And she was right 🙂 

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That two loud thuds that cracked my heart

This morning at 34 Weeks and 1 Day, Little Foot fell off the bed. Thankfully she landed in a fortunate spot. Still, we wish we were more fortunate.

The mister had decided to place her beside me for morning feed and had gone to the living room to get his breather.

[Note — my brain never functions well between 6am to 930 am. That’s the time I’m dead to the world after pockets of night feeds.]

Apparently, she had gotten her feed, but she got bored and decided to explore the new-found side of the world. Only a few days ago, she finally figured out how to roll to her right. My guess is she was reaching for the much coveted aircon remote and the even more coveted handphones on that side table. So she fell off. Two loud thuds (probably something hit the side table first) woke me up and my heart cracked. I screamed and retrieved her. Luckily she landed on her Daddy’s big buckwheat pillow on the Totoro futon that he’s been camping on.

She cried for about a minute, latched for comfort and then moved on. How nice that babies can forgive easily. I was left pondering why it happened, why no one placed a bolster there. And I spent the day searching for a bump or looking out for any signs that she might be hurt more than we realised.

Well, here’s her at music class today.

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Completely energetic. And feisty as usual. She even mastered arms out in carrier today, and found a new fetish for the texture and sound of plastic bags. So we can safely say she’s feeling good.

I guess this marks the start of Little Foot’s Adventures around the house and into the world…. and a signal to really try to finish babyproofing the place asap.

Daddy as usual could still say jokingly that we should make her a milestone card that says “Today I rolled off the bed for the first time”.

At times like this, I know whether to laugh or cry. May be easier to strangle him and make him a milestone card for it too. Hmmph!