Today is Friday.
It felt like the week was too long this week, perhaps because I am having withdrawal syndrome after spending a good long long weekend with Little Foot (with two days off last week).
Also because I was called back to office on Monday night.
Unexpectedly, work delayed me from returning home tonight.
Do I blame work? Not really. Work has always been there.
I just realised that while it was still in my DNA to be absorbed by my work, and this week was mickey mouse in comparison to how hard I used to drive myself, something had changed at my very core.
Me. My attitude towards work. My attitude towards people.
First and foremost, I am Little Foot’s mother. The pre-motherhood me may have had empathy for everyone under the sun. That’s what my religion taught me… so I apply it. Mechanically.
The me today applies empathy to everyone because as a mother I have experienced a transformation of sorts… I have this “don’t want this to happen to my child” attitude. I apply it to everyone and everything instinctively.
Motherhood perhaps made me unwilling to be judgemental on others, and also unwilling to impose my views and values on others.
Remembering how I used to assume that because I chiong at work, people in my team should do so too. I laughed at how clueless I was…. there is life beyond work. And some people made it a point to have a different kind of priority list from the chronic workoholic. I’ve been there and now I’m on the other side of the fence.
Life does have a way of boomeranging back on us.
And so tonight I rushed back in time to catch Little Foot before she slept. We hugged and I nursed her to sleep. I sang to her. I patted her backside.
And I wanted to cry.
How I missed her the whole week… yet I hardly had time to miss her.
I can’t help but wonder what I’ve missed while away from her.
And I wanted to cry. Mentally, it is exhausting, focusing on not thinking about the one person you just want to think about, so I can finish work and get back to her sooner rather than later.
I hope in the course of my work, I don’t have to unknowingly do anything that would take someone else away from their family unless there is really no choice.
As a wise friend once said, we always have a choice. We just assume we don’t.
Thank God for all the small pockets of time spent together.
A quick wefie the moment I walked through the door
Thank God it’s Friday.