A world without sugar

It has been more than five weeks of having to stare sadly through bakery windows, walking past fast food joints where people polish off burgers and fried chicken, feeling angry that I can’t have a proper cup of Coffee, not being able to drink any soft drink I like, hanging my head each time I walk past a Ramen shop, wishing I could have a cup of bubble tea, forlornly looking at the ice-cream carts along the roads, and politely explaining to people why I have to reject their offer of potato chips…the list goes on. I’ve had many emotional moments,  when I asked God, “Why me?”, when I feel like throwing a fit because I don’t have a good answer to “what do you want to eat?” when the reality is to only care about “what CAN I eat?”.

The only part I’m grateful about in this whole episode is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for me. I’m hopeful that I’m one of the “most people” who will not be diabetic anymore after giving birth. Compared to the many out there who carry the ailment permanently, some born with it, some diagnosed in mid-life with it, I should still count my blessings.

Having to go through this phase in my life, it has opened my eyes to a whole new perspective, and experience what some go through their entire lives.

After enduring three weeks of eating the same food with the diet plan (including attempting to cook for myself food that tastes like cardboard and soups that tastes like plain water) I have scoured the Internet to make the remaining weeks of my 3rd trimester bearable… diabetic patients surely have a way out somehow!

Sadly, I have to say, Singapore seems slow in becoming a diabetic-friendly place. There isn’t a dedicated sugar-free section in our supermarkets. There are no signs either that say “suitable for diabetics”. In fact, most do not carry sugar-free products beyond sweets like Ricola. It is a sad state of affairs.

There are however some who are on a quest like me and had decided to do something about it… bringing in and/or producing foods that will light up a deprived soul’s eyes and warm the heart.
Approaching these shops, I had the feeling of a kid approaching M&Ms land… so over the moon, I wanted to grab everything within reach! (That was probably how Hansel and Gretel felt at the candy house).

To the people behind these shops and brands, thank you for making a difference… and I hope Singapore food importers and producers will finally awaken to this market. It is niche, but don’t neglect this group… since a Report in the Straits Times in 2012 reported that there would likely be 1 million diabetics in Singapore by 2050. That’s not even counting the mummies like me who go through Gestational Diabetes during pregnancy.

This whole experience was a chance for me to be more aware of the feelings of those who can’t eat as they wished. I no longer have to imagine how one felt whenever friends posted photos of their cafe hopping sessions and dining delicacies on Facebook and Instagram, food that are forbidden. I know how they feel now. And let’s just put it simply – it sucks.

Anyway to share the list I’ve found so far, here goes:

SHOPS/BRANDS WITH A HEART FOR DIABETIC PATIENTS

I will try to continue to add on to this list, even after my recovery. Hopefully, it will provide a rainbow of hope to all pregnant ladies in Singapore who are diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.

Hey baby kick kick!

Today Our Little Foot was so still in the morning, for awhile I panicked, wondering if something’s wrong. I had to prod prod her a little, just to make sure she’s still well and dandy. Luckily, our little one finally gave a stretch. Mummy gave a big “phew!” … haha, really think too much.

Good to hear her hiccup today and everyday these days. It reassures me a lot.

Yesterday was Deepavali. We went to meet Confinement Nanny (Ah Noi). She’s nice…let’s hope we get along well together, especially since she’s pro-breastfeeding (just that she said it would be more sane to pump out the milk for night feeds, rather than to wake up and feed. She’s open to letting me try breastfeeding at night. So that’s good (let’s hope we get some good milk supply!).

We also went Ikea and FINALLY bought the nice retro-looking trolley to put Little Foot’s barang barang. I’m so delighted, I already loaded some of the sundries like cotton balls, cotton buds, diaper cream, the swaddles and towels, etc onto it. Seriously turning into Kiasu mummy!

Ikea Trolley
Counting down about 8 weeks to go and working hard to stay positive. It’s getting challenging. I could cry for no reason, or just over something silly. Blaming it on the hormones and the bland diet for gestational diabetes. Of course, since there’s no turning back and no “I wanna back out now”, just have to hang in there.

A little prayer tonight – Dear God, in your strong hands, I place my life and baby’s and we will learn to trust that you have a plan and a reason for everything. Even in bad times, I will not begrudge You, but learn to carry my cross with grace and willingness. Amen.

Third Trimester – An Emotional Roller Coaster

Dear Little Foot,

On Friday, Dr Teo said you were at at 50th percentile at the last check-up, but seemed to have slowed down. 1.3KG at Week #30 is slightly light.

Mummy has been throwing up and having very bad reflux for about 2 weeks. Thankfully, the Omeprazole prescribed seems to be working. Let’s hope the throwing up and gastric pains stop for good. Still, the on-and-off breathlessness hasn’t stopped.

Friday was also the glucose tolerance test. Mummy had to hold in my feelings of wanting to vomit for two hours. Otherwise, we won’t know if it was indeed diabetes. Thankfully, the nurses at KKH were very kind and found me a place to rest. Sadly, it is gestational diabetes. Somehow mummy knew it was to be so, but confirming it really makes me very sad and confused, because Little Foot is too small, mummy is gaining not enough weight and not eating much, but then we are told we have diabetes.

So this weekend, Mummy and Daddy tried to rest a lot. We also went to buy a lot of healthier and low sugar food today, like oatmeal biscuits and natural yoghurt. Mummy is a little bit scared of the full day test at KKH on Wednesday. We’ll have to stay the whole day there for three meals and take insulin and do more tests, but as your Mummy, I will have to be strong and try to stay positive.

About another 9 weeks before we get to meet face-to-face, are you excited? Baby Nate is already out and saying hello to the world. Thank God he is fine. Mummy continues to pray that you will be well and healthy too. I will do my best.

Dear Little Foot, at the last checkup, you were head down, but on Friday, you had turned back up. Please do your best to turn back to head down … but if you don’t, Mummy won’t be angry either, we’ll just make all the right decisions, as best as we can, as long as you are healthy.

Love you, my dearest Little Foot Baby-Nim.