Author: alittlefootprint

A car, my trusty friend, my Natalie… goodbye

alittlefootprint Leave a comment

22 Jun 2016.

We said goodbye to you.

image

image

It actually feels like I said goodbye to my 20s,  goodbye to my youth, goodbye to a truckload of memories.

Natalie was my first ride, and I collected her just before Valentine’s Day 2007. I bought her right after I got my licence, and being rather young (and poor), it was a weekend car.

Then, Papa Long and I were getting closer as friends… shortly after, we got together.

So as a couple, with our little car, we went on many adventures together in the five years we dated. We went for dates to the beach, picnics, kite-flying, fishing (once), cafe hopping, cycling… having a car, even if it was “just a Korean car” made many things possible. We could get to ulu places, go for many prata supper sessions at railway mall… hang out without worrying when the last bus or train would run off. For a working couple who were busy chasing our careers,  having a car for the nights and weekends were good. And it wasn’t as expensive as now.

Natalie was the pet taxi for our dear Old Pico when he was alive. I still remember how I couldn’t parallel park, but because he was bleeding from a dog attack, I zoomed to the vet and parallel parked in a blink without thinking much, because I was in such a rush to get him treated. Natalie was also the car that drove Pico out for his last outing to Bishan Park.

Having a car made road trips up north possible — Malacca,  Port Dickson,  Sunway Lagoon, and the furthest was Cameron Highland (so memorable!) Of course not forgetting the many supper trips to JB for Lok Lok which I always craved.

When we prepared to get married, the trusty car ferried us to get everything ready…. I still remember the numerous trips to the bridal studio.

When we were furnishing our little home, we drove up north to buy lights in the car, drove to industrial places to look at furnitures, went to Expo sale many times to see appliances. Every weekend, adventures begins when we hopped into the car.

And then when we prepared to have Little Foot…

 

image

Papa Long with Natalie in the background, carrying the first stroller we bought for Little Foot. I was 9 months pregnant. 

 

image

I still remember how we stuffed the car to the brim to cart all the purchases at Mummy’s Market home from Expo. I was nearly 8 months pregnant.

image

image

All the things in the cot and the cot itself could fit into our car!

The day Little Foot arrived,  we drove Natalie to KKH in the morning with a maxi cosi carseat in it ready for her.

And so, Little Foot took her first car ride ever in Natalie.

image

We converted the car to a black plate car and during my stint staying at home with Little Foot, I would drive her around – to playdates, to the PD, to KKH, to the Polyclinic, to Yu Guo for TCM massages… some days when I needed fresh air, I would drive out for a coffee or lunch with my mummy friends.

image

9 years and 5 months from the day I drove her for the first time,  we said our goodbyes… I hear she would still be on the roads. In a way, I’m glad she isn’t going to the scrapyard, but I still feel sad she’s not mine anymore.

Today, we collected our new car. It’s flashier and with a lot more horsepower (TURBO WOR!) More importantly, with more space to accommodate a family. We are happy definitely (although that created a dent in Papa Long’s piggybank), but can’t help feeling like something is missing now that Natalie is gone.

image

The first is always the hardest to let go I guess.

image

image

image

Goodbye Natalie….Thanks for the memories. Without you, maybe I would never have been able to be a real driver. Without you, maybe this family would not be here.

May we meet again, my dear Natalie. It has been a great ride, hasn’t it?

*********************************

Like what you read? Pop by A Little Footprint on Facebook for regular updates on my blog, and random parenting tips.

Eve of school…

alittlefootprint Leave a comment

Last day before Little Foot goes to school. 

Last day of morning trips to the playground with the swing for her.

Last day of carefree life.

By chance, I had time to have a lunch date with her today.

image

Mummy having mixed feelings. Are we ready for school? Her gear are almost all ready, but my heart isn’t.

I look at the little baby self-feeding sushi to herself and I feel like my heart is so heavy and I’m about to burst into a puddle.

image

Little Foot doesn’t seem to know what is coming although I have repeatedly told her that she’s going to school.

School is too abstract a concept for her.

I hope I don’t get all cold feet and pull her out of school tomorrow. Really need to psych myself.

On a happier note, we had fun at lunch. She really ate a lot – rice salmon, chawanmushi and tamago. All the things she liked. It reminds me of my first week back at work, when helper brought her to meet me for lunch. We also ate Japanese food. 

Before kissing goodbye (Yes,  she’s more amenable to kissing me these days!) She managed to make me buy 2 balloons for her. 1 is not enough for our “babom” lover ☺ oh my dearest Baby, seeing your joy today makes it even harder for me to pack you off to school…

image

Let’s be brave. Mummy love you.

The crossover to Toddlerhood

alittlefootprint Leave a comment

This week, Little Foot turned 18 months. Officially according to the authorities (ECDA specifically), this means she’s no longer an infant.

As the curtains come down on our infant journey with our firstborn,  Papa Long and I have been randomly looking at old photos and video clips of Little Foot’s growth….

from the little blinking bean in my tummy whom we would see on the ultrasound machines

… to finally meeting you for the first time

image

…. the baby I proudly carried in one arm, football style, and walked out of KKH…

… to the teeny weeny but very observant baby who woke and fussed for milk evry 2 hours

… to the baby who gave me courage enough to venture out with her in carrier, all the time hugging me tight or giving me deep knowing gazing (as if  telling me, “Mummy, I trust you. Trust yourself too”)

image

… to the bloated baby who bravely battled colic and never lost her faith in me even as I despaired and got angry with myself

image

… to the little “Flower legs” who cafe-hopped and travelled with us.

image

… to the foodie that struggles to get her hands on everything that we are eating

image

… to the little bouncy biter in the exersaucer

… to the tetrapak-chewing baby who rejected teethers

… to the gleeful girl who zipped around the house in the walker

image

… to the cheeky baby who learnt to play peekaboo back at us

… to the book chomper turned book flipper

… to the baby who loved bubbles and balloons and refer to them as “Babom Babom! ”

… to the swing – loving baby who impressed all the strangers with “Look! That baby is swinging!”

image

… to the little apprehensive swimmer

image

… to the youtube and BabyTV fan

… to the baby who proudly walked around pushing chairs and baskets

… to the baby who loved balls

Slowly and steadily, she has grown and sprouted without us really realising that the metamorphosis had happened. 

There are days when I marvel at her witty and charming ways and days that I am caught in situations where I don’t quite know how to deal with the tantrums and stubbornness.

Welcome to Toddlerhood, Yes?  🙂

Dear Little Foot,

Life is busy because you are around. You fill up the hours so quickly when we are engrossed with being with you. Days turn to weeks, and weeks turned to months as I hurry along each day to get work done and get home to you, and we countdown to weekends so that we can be plastered together for 2 whole days.

And here we are, at this major milestone. 

Next week you will go to school.

It will be where you meet your first friends and teachers. It will be where you realise that there are more people to hold dear than these three people whom your life has revolved around for the past 18 months.

I hope school will be fun for you… I hope that you will still retain your sense of adventure even as we place you into a system that may try to mold you while it tries to help you reach for the stars.

I fear. I fear that the system may mold you into something you are intrinsically not.

I fear. I fear that the system may lead you away from what you love to do, to what the system would like you to love to do.

I fear. I fear that I may resent how the world may show you that you are not special, but I know I have to let the world teach you that the Sun and Moon doesn’t revolve around you.

As your parents, we can only keep reminding ourselves not to get lost and blinded by the “competition” in the system…  to place your happiness and welfare at the centre of it all… to guide you to be the best that you can be, to love God, to love life, to be kind to others, to celebrate simplicity….to help you reach a purposeful life. I use purposeful, not successful.  That I feel is how one should live….. yet these are early days,  I just pray not to get too caught up in the race.

My dearest Baby Pie… I am grateful you continue to have complete faith in us, knowing we will catch you or pick up when you fall. I am grateful that you still get upset when I leave you for work each morning. I am grateful that you still exclaim in sheer delight whenever we appear at the front door after a day at work.

image

I hope you will always know that we are here for you with open arms and open hearts.

image

Happy and Blessed 18 months my dearest only child. It’s been a fulfilling journey being your parents. May you always find joy in simple things and enjoy good health too. May you never lose faith in yourself, us and God. May you always carry your tenacity and that happy smile with you in life.

Remember, we will always be here to hold you, to catch you if you ever do trip up. Have no fear and soar like the Eagle, up up in the sky!

image

We love you forever and always. Thank you for making us your Mummy and  Daddy…. you were the most perfect in our eyes from the first time we met.

5 Tips to raising a bookworm baby!

alittlefootprint 1 Comment
I come from a family of bookworms. 
From the day we could make sense of words and sentences in books, my siblings and I, we would read everywhere. Yes, everywhere – from the bed (very bad for the eyes I know) to the dining table to the sofa, and one even reads in the loo! 
Every new Harry Potter book release, you would see the book inserted with several bookmarks, and the situation of one of us trying to pry the book from the other with “eh… my turn already lehhh…”, and tantrums flying.
This love of books, I think we owe it to my eldest sister. As younger siblings, we emulated her. As to why she loved books, we didn’t quite know how it started, but boy, did she read a lot and very fast!
My parents don’t read, but we have an uncle who was a teacher, and I think it was he who gifted my sister books by the sets (like a complete set of ladybird books, a complete set of Hans Christian Andersen books in big prints). And we had another uncle who used to own a business selling Encyclopedias (thick and heavy physical books before the time of computers, Google and Wikipedia). So that set a nice tone to kick-start a lifetime love for books.
I carried this love into adulthood, from history to philosophy (Ok, I tried and these really gave me a headache), to biographies, to fiction books (thrillers and chick lit), I read leisurely. Every holiday trip would see me pack a few books for the flight. I read “Marley and Me” and “P.S. I Love You” first before the movies were even released, and I cried reading them. Words brought me into a whole new different worlds, set my imagination alive (I am reminded of Enid Blyton’s “The Magic Faraway Tree”), taught me experiences and live values through people and the characters in the books.
I wanted my Little Foot to fall in love with books too, and open the windows into all these other worlds and perspectives out there. In this digital age, introducing books are a lot more challenging than during my childhood days. Toys sing, books sing too, there’s YouTube and there’s TV. Boring old books are just not as attractive comparatively.
Despite all these, I think we are making good headway, and these are some of the things I have done to inculcate the love for books and reading. I’m not sure if it will be a lifelong love for her, but at least, I think I’m trying and making good progress.

13244860_1075423952478157_2040034541072208916_n

1) Fill the house with books

I have been buying many many books for Little Foot. I Make the house a place where books can be found anywhere and everywhere, pulling books randomly to read a page or two to her, since she was newborn.
I recall how I frantically waved the Black/White/Red Picture book in her face when she was a few weeks old (because in my post-natal madness, I had this crazy thought that maybe she can’t see).

I recall all the board books that she would grab over from me and take a few chomp on. I recall her chewing off one corner of a flashcard.

I recall the first time I was over the moon because she sit there and listened attentively when I read “Sneezy Wheezy Mr Shark” to her. That was the first book she allowed me to read finish and laughed happily along each time Mr Shark sneezed (the book has a hand puppet attached to it).

There are three places I get most of the books for Little Foot from:

  1. My Greatest Child located at City Square Mall, and a new outlet recently opened NEX Serangoon. They also regularly hold roadshows at Safra clubs. Follow them on Facebook for the updates on roadshows.
  2. Book Depository  is the best for the busy parent, and carries all kinds of books for adults and children. Browse the site, pay by Paypal and get the books delivered to your door, I find this the most fuss-free, and the prices are reasonable. It is also the best if there is a particular book you wish to buy and can’t find in a brick and mortar shop.
  3. Popular Bookstore, the homegrown haven of assessment books. Everyone knows this one, since this is the go-to for our schoolbooks since the 80s. Baby books are not organised well, but sometimes you could find some treasures if you dig around. I like that they carry a wide range of Chinese books, and there are so many outlets in the heartlands.

2) Make reading a regular affair and read with your child

Don’t just cart out the books from the storeroom when you think “it’s reading time” after weeks or months have passed. In order to make reading regular and a normal activity, it again points back to my first point, make books readily available around the house. You and baby can take turns to choose the books, and vary the books.
I am still trying to make it some sort of daily routine, but as a forgetful and very random/spontaneous person, this is not second nature to me. So I am still very much the “Oh, here’s a book, do you wanna read?” kind of random parent.
13226869_1077729918914227_1674341768319364265_n

3) Create a reading space

I read from this a Mindchamps Article about creating a comfortable reading space for the kids. Agree, agree, and agree. I used to lie on my bed and read using a bedside lamp. That was the reading space I created for myself.
For Little Foot, I hope to instill better reading habits. A couch or a beanbag in a cosy corner with good reading lights. That will be on our to-do list when we spruce up our living space next.
For now, we usually read with her sitting on my lap with my arms around her on the playmat or on the couch. She likes that she’s spending time being plastered to me. In essence, I let her feel that it is a safe and enjoyable haven.

4) Don’t force it

I observed that there are some things that Little Foot likes to do more on certain days. “mood for books” day is not everyday.
Babies and kids, just like adults have moods too.There are days when our little ones are not in the mood to read. They could be in the mood for running around that day, or in the mood to sing and dance to baby music, rather than sit down with a stack of books. Read their cues. 
I celebrate each time I catch Little Foot in her “mood for books” day. On days which she’s not interested and I find myself reading to the furniture in the room halfway, I try not to beat myself up about it, or worse, get exasperated. We can try again tomorrow. After all, I’m the “tik kee” (steel-teethed) child who likes to purposely sing the opposite tune and refuse to do things that I am forced to do, so I expect my Little Foot to be like that too.

5) Visit bookshops and libraries together

Don’t just go to the shops and grab the books on your own. Make it an outing with the little one. I sort of let Little Foot choose the books. For instance, at the stores, she would pull at books and I would ask her “You like this one? Mummy buy?” or I would offer her two or three options and ask her to choose. I do the same at the toy stores, so she would associate that these for her, not for Mummy.
I have been meaning to visit the library with her, just haven’t got round to it, but I do believe, that a visit to the libraries would be beneficial, especially now that she is older. My only concern was that she used to chew on books and I am not quite sure the books, meant for everyone, are safe from her jaws (and also if they are safe for her to chew, having gone through many hands).

After note: It is okay to be a late bloomer

I know, I am one.
I recall how my mum wanted to strangle me (figure of speech) while I struggled to read “The Ugly Duckling” at five years old. I resorted to parroting the first pages word-for-word from what she narrated, and of course, got caught in the process when I got stuck on the pages she had yet to read out to me. It was stressful for me when the alphabets didn’t string up to words, and words didn’t string up to sentences at that age. It was stressful that there was expectations set for me that I couldn’t meet. I was an expert at mimicking and parroting, but I just couldn’t read, and I would write my alphabets in mirror image sometimes. It was an uphill task of learning for me in my early years (back then, no one would ask if you were dyslexic… maybe I was?  Who knows…)
It was only at eight years old that I started reading. I had pulled a Ladybird book off the massive shelves in my house one random day, wondering if I could ever be able to read like my sister. That moment, the words strung up, and the stories flowed off the pages, I never looked back. I finished all the ladybird books in the next few days, moved to the Enid Blyton books, then Roald Dahl, then to the thicker books that were on the shelves. 
So never put the child down if he/she doesn’t show any interest in reading. Sometimes, it just isn’t the season for books yet. The idea is to create easy access to books, and set a good example.
These days, Little Foot randomly flips a book called “Super Baby Food” before bedtime as it is on the bedside table, as I’ve been randomly flipping through the book to read on what are suitable food for her age and to get ideas on what to feed her next.
P.S. Did you know there is a National Reading Movement? National Reading Day is on 30th July.
P.P.S. I will be reviewing some interesting books for kids in the coming months. Stay tuned! 

*********************************

Like what you read? Pop by A Little Footprint on Facebook for regular updates on my blog, and random parenting tips.

4 things to try on the mummy bandwagon

alittlefootprint Leave a comment

Now that I’ve been a mummy for nearly 18 months, I thought it’d be useful to list down the must-do, must-try “IN” things for new mummies. These are things that fellow mummies seem to get rather enthusiastic about, and others don’t quite understand why (daddies included).

1. Get a fancy baby carrier or wrap!

Definitely, on the top of the list is babywearing. Afterall, I recently counted nearly 20 carriers in my possession (yep, this mummy went overboard during my stay at home days), 3 wraps and 2 ring slings.

If you want to be a fashionista mama, get a Wrap Conversion (WC) Tula, or get one of those fancy clothes for babywearing (we call them wraps). Only available on their US site.

Not so long ago, mummies were using carriers like the Baby Bjorn and Ergo…then people started to complain that the Ergo wasn’t good enough for heavier older babies, the designs were boring etc etc. And along came a whole new breed of carriers – Tulas, LennyLambs, Kinderpacks, Bamberoo, Madame Googoo. These boasted better cut, deeper seat, more comfortable babywearing, and yes, they came in toddler sizes too. Most sought after here is the Tula. It is relatively easy to find a canvas one. Just go to one of the local retailers, they will have them. The one that will make you feel like you’re carrying a Prada /Hermes bag (even though you are haven’t really combed your hair or you are again wearing that same old Uniqlo airism bra top) is a wrap conversion (WC) Tula. These are made of the special (read branded) woven cloths that are good for wrapping, and very limited in production. In other words, they don’t come cheap. Thankfully for the newbies, the resale market is coming down to sane prices now, although just this morning, I saw a used one going for a jaw-dropping US$4K.

Here’s us in a wrap, and here’s Papa Long  in a WC Tula. You can also read about my early day reviews of carriers here.

Find the Tula too mainstream? check out the hard to find Kinderpacks or the sooooo soft and fluffy LennyLambs. For me, it’s a tie between the Tula and the Kinderpack.

If you want to walk the path less travelled, go for the wraps. I personally find it too complicated and Little Foot is not a wrappable baby. P.S those cloths don’t come cheap, but they guarantee that they won’t rip under the weight of your baby!

Once you babywear, be prepared to attract the curious people’s attention. In our earlier days when I used to venture out with Little Foot on the MRT alone, I have had strangers coming to try to peep into my carrier, curious to see what’s under the hood (hello-oh, of cos is a baby lah!). Occasionally, I have had some strangers come up and ask me, if it’s ok for the baby to be inside the pouch. 

2. Not any diaper bag. Get a Ju-ju-be Bag!

Our first diaper bag was a plain grey bag sling with fuchsia trimmings from MAM. It worked for us well, until I noticed how some mummies in my group would go absolutely mad over a certain brand called Ju-Ju-Be. Curious, I went to kaypoh a little… and then I got hooked (Papa Long wanted to knock his head against the wall) buying the various shapes and sizes. Being a Tokidoki lover in my younger days, I’m a like “WOW! Tokidoki diaper bags!” Like the WC Tulas, the supply seemed to be way short of the demand, so there is also a resale market. A bag at resale could double the retail price (don’t ask me how that works. That’s how the “buy sell trade” market is!).

I’m not going to say how many JJB bags I have. Too many. Period. I even bought the Minibes (Mini backpack), just in case Little Foot wants to carry one to school in the near future.
image

Jjb mummies love taking pictures of their bag(s) of the day. Diaper bags are no longer uncool!

3. Make a breastmilk jewellery for heirloom or keepsake

Don’t say “Eeeee!!” ya? I know it sounds strange to want to make jewellery with your breastmilk as contents, but for some who are a little morbid like myself, I did think it was a good idea. A momento for my Little Foot, just in case, you know, I’m gone one day.

I’ve written on our Facebook about how I’ve been cheated by one of the largest and forerunners in the breastmilk jewellery scene, but that’s water under the bridge. I’m now eagerly awaiting the ones I ordered from a local maker. Very simple. You provide them a certain amount of breastmilk, they somehow many it into jewellery. Most however do it in silver or stainless steel. these may not last till Little Foot is 21, so I may try the new series that one local maker launched, using gold. [will update with photos when I ever do receive my breastmilk keepsake]

4. Make breastmilk soaps 

Again, don’t say “Eeeee!!!!” Breastmilk is one of the best “lotions” for baby. When Little Foot was a few days old, she had some red rashes appear on her eyelids and face. The oldies told me to dab breastmilk on the rashes, so I did. Lo and Behold! The rashes were gone! So I would always pour whatever leftover milk into her bathtub for her baths. I find it helps with dry skin.
image

At one point when (I thought) I was running low on supply, I hurriedly got a local maker, Soapshifu, to do a set of breastmilk soaps for me. 330ml were made into about 1kg of soap, cut and packed nicely into individual packaging. The milk is processed together with essential oils and good stuff like shea butter. All natural. No weird fishy smell from the soap. Smells just like a regular lavender bar soap that is moisturing and gentle enough for baby’s skin.

I like that the maker at Soapshifu took a lot of time to answer my questions and was not hard-sell at all.After the sad saga over the breastmilk jewellery, I have become very careful to do my homework before I engage any makers for customisation. One bad experience was enough. In fact, I only knew about this maker through a fellow mummy friend who was raving about it. For mummies, every drop of our milk is precious (especially when you are low supply like me), the last thing you want to have is someone taking your milk and then giving you something that is completely disappointing (or worse, run off with your milk and money!).So it is good to know that Soapshifu and its products are registered under the Health Sciences Authority. 

Little Foot has been using the soap daily (together with her usual Mustela/California Babies because that is her signature baby smell that we are so nostalgic about) since Oct last year, and we only just start using the 2nd bar! I find it most useful whenever she breaks into some rash. I know some other mummies may use the breastmilk soaps themselves too, or use for their older kids as well, but nahhhh…. not us. Saving the best for my Little Foot!

(Note that Little Foot does not have sensitive skin or any known skin allergies/reactions, so please do your necessary skin tests / err on the side of caution if your baby has sensitive skin).

So that’s the List. 

Of course, there were other things I indulged in over the last 18 months, such as:

12105769_10154249997408448_6520881195272829480_n

  • Making Taimaobi 胎毛笔 keepsake calligraphy brush using hair from Little Foot’s first shave, and an umbilical cord seal from Huatsing
  • Customising a book for Little Foot from Lost My Name
  • Customising jewellery with Little Foot’s photos from Jules Jewels.
  • Buying S’well bottles for a more chic look to go with the JJB bags.
  • Getting Matchy-match clothes for Little Foot and myself, and also Family matching outfits.

 

Motherhood is serious work, but amidst the craziness and tiredness, we know that the baby phase will pass in the blink of an eye.

Doing some of the momentos, and living the moment (albeit a seemingly frivolous one at times) makes it a more interesting and memorable ride.

Our breastfeeding journey doesn’t last long too, so if you can afford to spare a few drops, why not make the soaps so the Little One can benefit for a while more even after the supply is cut.

imageimage

Enjoy the journey…Just make sure not to break the bank in the process!

P.S. No sponsorship was received, although Papa Long’s had generously contributed to the book,  the Taimaobi and 1 Tula.  Mummy Joyc is a full-time working mummy, who runs home each day after work, and spends almost all her free time with Little Foot, so she gets her retail therapy online when Little Foot is in dreamland.  

 

*********************************

Like what you read? Pop by A Little Footprint on Facebook for regular updates on my blog, and random parenting tips.

Bento Fun!

alittlefootprint Leave a comment

I had, on a whim, signed us up for a Winnie the Pooh Bento making session, conducted by Little Miss Bento.

With much groaning this morning, we dragged ourselves out of bed, waved goodbye to Little Foot, and trotted off to take a bus to the class (our dear old car broke down and is in the workshop).

Along the way, we joked about how long it had been since we held hands and swinged them while we walked,  and how we couldn’t remember the last time we took a bus together. (Yeah yeah, I know, first world problems… we’re such spoilt pple…)

Anyway, we had fun learning how to colour the rice, making the shapes for the characters, and cutting the seaweed for the eyes and brows. At one point, Papa Long lost Winnie’s eyebrows… and I was trying to reduce the size of Piglet’s nose until I felt a little cross-eyed.

It was a refreshing kind of different Sunday for us…. more importantly, we got “we time” together.

image

And then we made it up to Little Foot for going missing on Sunday Morning by presenting to her the bentos.  Of course, some parts were not suitable for her to consume (e.g fried chicken and ham), so we removed those.

Maybe one day when Little Foot is older and needs to bring lunchbox to school, Papa and I will find time to make such cute bentos for her, but I’m quite excited by the whole thing, so I hope to try making more when I find time.

*********************************

Like what you read? Pop by A Little Footprint on Facebook for regular updates on my blog, and random parenting tips.

 

Mr logical…never let go

alittlefootprint Leave a comment

“The road ahead is long… you can walk fast, you can walk slow…. but more importantly, as husband and wife, we need to walk side by side at the same pace, helping each other along the way, never letting go.”

On Tuesday, we woke up to what we thought would be a usual work day.

Then our phones kept buzzing. Friends were sending us screenshots of the post “My imperfect husband” which kept appearing all over their Facebook feeds.

Yay, it had gone viral. Which blogger didn’t hope that their blog would go viral? Still, I was having a nagging feeling at the situation. It was a blogpost from April after all. Why did it suddenly spin off?

I guess it got shared so much to a point that it got into the wrong hands. A friend alerted me to a screenshot of a certain trashy news site in Singapore (let’s not drive more traffic to them, since that was their purpose in the first place, with ads plastered all over).

We’re talking bad headline, accompanied by  trashy photos (of a woman in some ridiculous skimpy dress sitting on a man. Sorry, those people don’t look half as good as us IMHO). And we started to see people scolding me and calling me names online both on that page and in comments posted to my blog.

I asked Papa Long, “How?”

Because we were at work, I turned off this blog. The amount of notifications were just too distracting. Friends were asking me if I was okay and rallying around me while concurrently, strangers were condemning me because they missed the whole point of “My imperfect husband”.

Too much buzz around me. I tuned out and concentrated on work.

After work, Papa Long went for dinner and drinks with his buddies. The boys posted a group shot of themselves having coffee together with the caption “Dinner with kakis. We are all imperfect 😛”

They sure know how to spin a positive note to the whole situation. I laughed out loud to myself in the darkness of our bedroom while Little Foot was soundly sleeping when I saw the photo and the caption. And I’m sure all the wives at home were laughing too.

When he got home at night, we chatted about it. Logical as usual, Papa Long said “you shouldn’t have made the blog private. It just made people searching for the article go to the trashy site, and gave them more traffic! And they see the distorted version!”

I asked him how he felt. Was he sad? (Since that was the question people were throwing at me online, that I had shamed him and he would be sad that I badmouthed him publicly) He laughed and said “Those people missed your point. It is all about not staying angry and moving on so that you get a better outcome”. As usual, he was never one to make a big deal out of anything. He also happily showed me a photo of one of his buddies who took a photo with our car, as it was now the “celebrity car”.

In the end, he always reads me best, and he’s always the chill one. When I’m unsettled, he provides an anchoring point and clarity. He took the situation, removed the emotions, evaluated it, then presented it in plain simple terms. Then figure out the next steps.

Perhaps that’s all there is to it. Where I am lacking, you fill in those gaps. Where you can’t do well, I help you along. We are all imperfect, but we complement each other.

The road ahead is long… you can walk fast, you can walk slow…. but more importantly, as husband and wife, we need to walk side by side at the same pace, helping each other along the way, never letting go. Along the way we will continue to have debates and bickers e.g. whether we should have ice cubes in our freezer again, or whether organic foods are just a marketing ploy to cheat our money (I still buy organic veggies for Little Foot).

The important thing is to keep walking together, and be good role models for Little Foot.

And we hope that when we reach the sunset at the end of the journey, it would have been a meaningful walk together… then we could sit down, pat each other on the back and say “I guess we didn’t do too badly”.

426393_10150814507173448_608922537_n

P.S. We won the battle in some way as the post of the offensive article was removed from the trashy site’s Facebook page on Tuesday afternoon (thanks to strength in numbers), and the article was removed last evening.

 

*********************************

Like what you read? Pop by A Little Footprint on Facebook for regular updates on my blog, and random parenting tips.

Of working mothers and our unnecessary guilt

alittlefootprint 15 Comments

…don’t think of working mothers as people who just leave office on time and do less than you. Think of us as people who have to try to do 48 hours of work in 24 hours.

It’s been half a year since I returned to work. As I gear up at work (not really by choice, but one should always have an honourable sense of responsibility), I find that I’m stretched thin when I try to be my best at home and at work.

It’s not just the past two weeks, but it’s a nagging guilt that I suppose every working mother carries.

I think I give myself a hard time too much and too unnecessarily.

I feel bad when I am home later than usual.

I feel bad saying goodbye every morning when Little Foot would sputter and burst into tears, try to reach for me, try to stop me from leaving.

I feel bad when I go do ” me things” like get a haircut after work instead of running straight home.

Heck, I feel bad even about slowly sauntering home instead of brisk walking home from the train station!

Imagine how bad I felt when I had to pry myself from her on Sunday morning while she was kicking up an epic tantrum,  because I have to go be somewhere for work.

Some days I wonder if I’m the only mum in this world that beat myself over every second not given to my daughter.  Maybe not.

As I grapple with my feelings and try to continue to keep work and life separate, I sometimes pause to ask myself “why am I making things so hard for myself?”

And I would remind myself that it’s ok to have “me time” it is ok to still want to excel beyond motherhood. Otherwise,  there is no me left. I cannot simply be Little Foot’s mummy without also living for myself. My hopes, my aspirations,  my needs and wants, they still matter.

To the other folks out there… don’t think of working mothers as people who just leave office on time and do less than you. Think of us as people who have to try to do 48 hours of work in 24 hours. We juggle, we struggle…sometimes we look like we aren’t putting in as much as you.  I beg to differ if you think that way. We are just forced to become more effective and efficient. The work of a mother never ends. At 1am, we may be dealing with a kid awakened by nightmare. At 3am we could be dealing with a dirtied bed because baby puked… we have teething and fevers, flu and vaccinations to deal with. These things don’t make appointments with you. They happen whether a mother likes it or not.

AND we still reply the Whatsapp messages related to work at night, or boot up the laptop at odd hours to get some work done after the baby is asleep.

AND we still turn up for work the next morning (after dealing with a whole set of morning routine with the kid), grab a caffeine fix, and proceed to try to meet whatever deadlines we have, and look sharp at meetings. We would like to dream of our beds, but we don’t.  We tell ourselves not to waste time thinking about the bed. Because then the unnecessary guilt kicks in and we say “Hurry up,  get the work done. Baby’s waiting”.

We don’t bring our moods to work. Because moods and tantrums makes us less effective at work. And we know, we know there is always that one unmarried/childless colleague or boss who is lurking in the corner, waiting to see us trip up and think, “see, these mummies… they aren’t as committed, they aren’t as good….”. So we try harder than anyone else to be professional, because the odds are not in our favour.

Of course, there may be some working mothers who really don’t commit as much as the bare minimum,  those are not the ones I speak for… I speak for those who are like me, trying to be the best on all fronts and always guilt-tripping ourselves unnecessarily all the time because, really we wish we could do more on all fronts. We’ve given up gym and spas and “chill out after work” sessions with colleagues, all so that we can give more to work and home. Think of us while you chill. Have a beer in our honour.

The road ahead as a working mother is long… somehow, I know things will pan out fine. Because when in doubt, I come home to hug my baby and let her smiles wash all my worries and fears away.

image

Every morning, Little Foot waves goodbye to me tearfully. A shot taken from the lift landing that peers into my balcony.

*********************************

Like what you read? Pop by A Little Footprint on Facebook for regular updates on my blog, and random parenting tips.

Oh, the lovely smell of her sweaty head!

alittlefootprint Leave a comment

Sounds funny. How can sweaty heads be lovely?

Yes it is… it is the smell of victory, the smell that brings relief, the smell that says “we’re gonna be alright”.

Because it means the fever monster is at bay.

Little Foot has been battling fever since Sunday night, coupled with a slight cough that had made her throw up twice on Sunday.

image

All puffy from her fever from the first day

image

Groggy on Day 2….fever went over 39 degree Celsius

image

Spotting a double eyelid on Day 3, side effects of the fever, but fever broke before dawn

Not going to celebrate too soon since today she still had 2 doses of paracetamol to bring the fever down when it spiked suddenly, but definitely,  my heart was warmed to smell her sweaty head tonight while she slept, and to see the big patch of sweat on the bedsheets.

Fight on, baby! Get well soon!

—-
Our battle tools against fever:

♢Medicine – Paracetamol, Neurofen (only when fever goes too high)
♢Koolfever soft cooling gel pillow which we would try to make Little Foot rest her head on (from Watsons/Guardian)
♢Koolfever forehead sticker.used to be more effective when she was younger. This time round we had to see her mood. She tended to yank it off her forehead.
♢Cooling towel to keep her neck and back of the head cool ( once upon a time, we wanted to buy Frog Toggs, but a mis-marketing by Lazada saw us end up with a pile of the no brand cooling towels. Eventually Lazada refunded us for some, but we stuck to some of the purchases. Turns out to be extremely useful. Easily found on Taobao)
♢ Sponging with water and face towel. This still had to be done. Just remember not to do it in an air – conditioned room!
♢Holey Rompers, basically keep the clothing light and airy. Ours are from Uniqlo.
♢Baby Apple Juices for hydration when baby rejects water and milk (Little Foot drinks Earth Best and Pigeon brand)
♢Barley water. The home-boiled drink (little or no sugar) can help bring the temperature down and keep LO hydrated.
♢Essential Oils (Peppermint and Thieves, we use Young Living Oil). I rubbed peppermint on her soles at night and we diffused thieves and peppermint in the room at night.
♢Breast Milk, thankfully we haven’t stopped yet. So I was able to keep her hydrated when she refused milk bottles and water.
♢Baby Carrier. Being sick meant baby was extra clingy. We used our Tula and Kinderpack to save our arms and get her to nap peacefully.
♢ Vitamins. For us…we can’t afford to fall sick!

Besides these,  we fed her porridge and mee sua, but she had so little appetite it was worrying. So I also got bread and sponge cakes (including pandan cake) from confectioneries… my foodie baby managed to wallop down 1 slice of the cake today, once she got her taste buds back, she managed to eat rice and soup!

I hope this list helps parents who are new to fighting persistent/viral fevers.

Thought I’d share the collective wisdom of our few experience with fevers and the advice I have gotten from my mummies support group over time.

image

My little warriorette

*********************************

Like what you read? Pop by A Little Footprint on Facebook for regular updates on my blog, and random parenting tips.

My imperfect husband

alittlefootprint 50 Comments

“That’s how marriage can be. Two imperfect persons trying their best to make themselves perfect enough for the other, and accepting that the imperfect other is what God has gifted you.”

Friday, I cried briefly.
In frustration, in anger.
I questioned why I married this man.

Recently, we changed routine, so he drove and I went back to public commute – the long walk, a short squeeze on the train, and a long walk uphill in the morning. Reverse that for the commute home.

I hate it. Even though it’s just one stop.

And my health hasn’t been good –  weight is still creeping downwards, back still giving me grief, and let’s be honest, I am having a lot of panic attacks. Just turning onto the highway for a long drive can cause me to have clammy hands. The world seems to cave in whenever the MRT door closes.

So back to Friday… no dinner at home, so I went to buy dinner on my way home. Texted the husband, only to receive no replies, so I just assumed he needed food and bought for him too.

Carrying laptop, milk and ice pack,  food for three people onto the train… my shoulders were aching. Train was packed (when is it never?)… And then my gastric acted up.

Husband replied. He just reached home. Thanked me for dinner.

My first thought was, “if I could remember you need food, why couldn’t you remember I may need a ride home?”

Tired, sad, disappointed, feel cheated. He said if he took the car, he could pick me up after work. He only did it once.

I have become less than an afterthought.

I somehow plodded home without fainting, just a lot of cold sweat. I reached home, dropped the food on the dinner table, briefly said hi to Little Foot and went to lie down in bed.

At that point, I hated my life… I hated how weak I have become – physically and mentally….I hated how my other half can never remember my existence when away from me.

Fast forward to today.

He dutifully did his Sunday morning duties, changing diapers, feeding Little Foot,  bringing her down to play, while I slept.

We went out the whole afternoon — went in search of lunch and then spent the afternoon at Gardens by the Bay. He accommodated me when I said my head was pounding and let’s not go to his parents’ place. We went for waffles and ice cream..and visited two playgrounds.

By many women’s yardstick, Papa Long would have been a flying colours papa. And I agree.

I guess you could say he is a better father than a husband, or maybe, like how I have forgotten how to be a good spouse, so has he.

Online, people tend to post their fairytale stories. Everyone then goes green when envy.

I thought I’d post a real human story instead, so perhaps everyone else who’s dealing with a less than fairytale life can say “ok, I’m not alone here”.

The fact of life is, when life overwhelms, we become careless, thoughtless, mindless.

In the end, it is what we choose to do with the situation. Take it to heart and drown in the anger and sadness, or let it go and be the bigger person.

I chose to cry. And I asked why he didn’t think of asking me if I needed a lift. He gave me his reason (a lame but real one — he was caught in a jam and urgently needed to pee, so he chiong home). And I moved on.

No he didn’t apologise.

I married a person who is also human, and who somehow believes a wife is a person who can be as capable and strong as he is. So my guess is, he’s going to continue to forget me until he reaches home, he’s going to not buy me a mothers day gift because “you are not my mother”, and all the thoughtless things he will do… because he’s too logical for his own good.

And yet, I am not walking away. Because I already knew these before I married him.

For all the careless and thoughtless ways, he is my life partner… the one who has shared ups and downs, braved through life’s scary moments with me, who never got mad at me.

And he is Little Foot’s super Papa.

Love is easy…Marriage is hard work.

We will continue to bicker about what is important and what a husband should do for his wife (the ongoing debate about whether he ought to buy me a branded bag will probably last till we are 90 yrs old), we will continue to irritate each other because our language of love is different.

That’s how marriage can be. Two imperfect persons trying their best to make themselves perfect enough for the other, and accepting that the imperfect other is what God has gifted you.

I made a decision to get over Friday’s incident and stop dwelling. If I hadn’t, it would have been impossible to have thoroughly enjoyed myself today.

When we shared a waffle today, it almost felt like we were dating again, except that Little Foot was trying her best to get her hands on the ice cream and the water and everything else in front of her.

image

Here’s us at Gardens by the Bay

image

And here’s him dealing with the wormy Little Foot while trying to drink a coffee and eat the waffles and ice cream.

*********************************

Like what you read? Pop by A Little Footprint on Facebook for regular updates on my blog, and random parenting tips.