Reflections of my short stint alone with Little Foot

Tonight,  I ended my stay at home week with Little Foot aptly by eating the leftover mee sua that I cooked for her dinner.

I reflected on the past 6 days over the Al Dante soggy mee sua  (which I must say tasted quite good).

First, a pat on the back for me.

Our initial plans to go to JB for a short getaway together fell apart when Papa Long had to cancel his leave.

So our plans flopped.

I then set a fewagendas” — bring her to an indoor playground, to the library, and maybe for a shopping session in orchard. None of the above happened. My back had to choose to scream in pain late last week too, with the aches shooting to the back of my knees. Bad timing. So we stayed home, even though it got better after acupuncture on Tuesday, the only day Papa was able to take leave.

And so we went into the routine we knew best from our good old times – direct & comfort latching on demand. Probably the last time I will be able to use this weapon for a sahm stint as she is now nearly 16 months old.

Looking back, I think I did well because I randomly introduced new play ideas to her on whim. They were all just things that happened on the spot.

Fun with the magic mop happened because she wanted to play in the balcony and I wanted to make sure it was clean (especially since it’s been hazy). Playtime happened when she grabbed the mop from me.

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Ransacking the storage boxes filled with supplies of baby food is another funny thing she seemed to enjoy. Just nice that this spot is in full view of geh bathroom, so she would keep busy throwing stuff out of the box while I prepared her bath.

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The fun part of this room is that it also holds my extensive collection of scrapbooking materials. So of cos I thought,  it’d be fun to let her try some colouring. She had fun throwing the pencils around and poking the paper with them.

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One of my favourite moments was her discovering magnets. She spent a good hour playing with them, I had time to grab my morning drink and do some washing.

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And the next day, she upgraded to pushing the ikea stool, which she placed the magnets on, around the house.

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After she got tired of magnets, on Friday, we were back in the balcony playing again and she wanted to peel off the mosquito patches I stuck on the balcony door (a habit I had since I felt it was a waste to throw them immediately after a one – time trip to the playground).  I didn’t think it was a good idea to play with the citronella – soaked stickers, so I dug into my treasure trove and pulled out this pack of stickers. Oh… the amount of time she spent concentrating on getting the hang of peeling, sticking, transferring them. Good for training dexterity!

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These kiddy sunglasses amused her quite a bit too!

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Of course, she played with her truckload of toys too. . And other random stuff in the house

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But in the end,  the most time – consuming activity was eating.

Thankfully, our baby is a born foodie… I feel like she needs a master chef in the house, not mummy who cannot cook properly. .. but I tried my best to be creative and vary the dishes.

Like the egg, cheese and broccoli omelette that I conjured up and the potato and carrot (turned out they were sweet potatoes?!!) pan fried with tomato sauce and olive oil, and today’s vehicles pasta (cheated using prego sauce) with minced pork.

She also had the usual steamed cod with carrots and rice, beehoon soup with baby kailan and threadfin,  mee sua with spinach and cod fish (aka boring baby food). We also had yogurt, cereals, puffs and food pouches. My most outrageous moment was sharing my char siew rice with her (being mindful to avoid the oily and sauce – covered parts).

When the weekend finally arrived,  Little Foot got her first kid’s meal order for herself (I’m not counting the McDonald’s party happy meal since she didn’t eat the nuggets). Mini pancakes with blueberries and cream cheese. Sounds yummy, but she decided she wanted my sweet potato fries instead.

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The biggest achievements this week has gotta be Little Foot mastering feeding herself with a spoon on Friday, and able to walk about 10 steps or more without support tonight.

With the spoon,  it was actually a bo bian situation.  She would snatch the spoon from me when I feed her during meal times, so I gave it to her and got a second spoon. Guess what? She took it too! Initially, she couldn’t hold the spoon facing the right way up, so a lot ended on the chair and floor…. by Friday evening,  she knew how to adjust the spoon and aim the food into her mouth! The mess was almost confined to the tray! So proud of her!

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As for the walking, I know she has been practising hard lately, but she was always afraid to let go.  So we spent much of our times walking with her holding onto something or my hand. Including over and hour at the playground with her refusing to be carried and refusing to leave. I had to trot around with her surveying the nooks and crannies of the small kids playground (my back is cringing at the memory).

 

Last night, sleepless, she wanted to go walk the corridor. We end up playing by having her walk from Papa to Me and back again to Papa. She was so full of glee whenever she fell into the safety of our arms. My heart was filled with happiness whenever she hugged me and rested her head on my arm. Today at my mum’s place we pulled the distance further and she would squeal and giggle in excitement walking to and fro.

And then night came. .. dinner was over, yet she was restless. 9pm, she crawled out of our bed and insisted on leading me back to the living room.  “Mummum!” She pulled at the load of bread on the dining table.  Ok, I opened it… she played with 1 slice, past back to me.  I decided to get a slice of cheese and added another slice of bread. It was more for myself but I offered her the bread. Little did I know, she would claim it as her own. Lolz…

The interesting part was when she kept standing and walking while holding onto the bread and cheese for dear life and eating away at it. She seemed to have forgotten her apprehension about walking and covered.quite a distance from the playmat to the dining bench.

Oh my Little Foot,  you really thrive on food! With the bread, you found courage!

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Oh yes, and she’s had her first shower time in the bathroom outside of the bathtub… Stood for awhile,  then sat on the bathroom floor and poured water over herself with the water scoop.

So much done in this short time together… I feel a sense of achievement that I somehow managed to make good use of the time we had together. How life pans out sometimes.  It was supposed to be Papa’s stay at home dad stint, but circumstances gave me the opportunity to bond with our precious little girl. I wonder how it would be if he had stayed home this week instead of me.

This time is so different from last September.  In a way it is more difficult and easier all at the same time… maybe because she can keep occupied with a certain activity for a period of time, which give me chance to sit down and breathe, but her mobility makes challenging to constantly keep and eye on her. And she doesn’t want to be in the walker, stroller or baby carriers anymore (hopefully a passing phase while she’s learning to walk). Definitely a demanding boss here!.

As with the last stint, my meals are simple affairs, sometimes I forgot to eat till it’s past normal lunch time. I couldn’t be bothered with my hair or putting cream on my face.  As long as I brushed my teeth, washed my hands and showered. A part of me learned to let go and say “it’s ok”… esp with the food pouches and missed naps and bedtimes.

Little Foot will turn 16 months in 3 days’ time… no longer a baby, ready to walk and see the world.

I guess I can conclude by saying “We made it!”

Good night my sweetie 贝贝. Sleep tight. XOXO

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P.S. I really loved that incidental tune you played out today on the keyboard. Almost a twinkle twinkle there!

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Baby steps

Gotta record this…

I FINALLY witnessed Little Foot take a couple of steps without holding onto anything.

I know she’s been doing it since last week, but refused to show me. Until today.

A lot of mixed feelings at this juncture. So proud of you, yet so sad to be reminded of how fast you are waving goodbye to babyhood.

I still remember your tummy times…

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I still remember your first swim…

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I still remember your “planking” days…

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I still remember you practicing so hard just to roll over…

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I still remember how you finally could crawl and get yourself to a sitting position.

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I still remember you trying your hardest to leopard crawl across the playmat after much encouragement.

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I still remember the days you couldn’t stand and we made you look like you could…

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And I still remember the days when you were practicing how to stay up in a sitting position…

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All these all so fresh and vivid in my mind.
Yet, 15 months and 10 days have flown by just like this… as your baby steps gets more, I feel a little fearful…

How long can I keep you safe beside me?

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And to mark a relatively good evening with Little Foot, shortly after I got home from work, she had pulled the Kinderpack and insisted on being carried by me for awhile.

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She also did a couple of laps in the corridor in her walker.

I know her time in the walker will be ending soon… and I treasure every moment I can see her in it.

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Throwback to a couple of months ago

Need to remind myself, this is how motherhood is. Enjoy every moment and every milestone. We are making memories at every instance.

I’m happy I have been with her for so many milestones…looking back, I can’t help but let my tears roll… we made it this far, and it’s amazing how my Little Foot has blossomed.

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2 weeks of flu, cough and flying tempers

Haven’t had much energy to update recently. 

Little Foot is down with flu and cough 3 days after we returned from Taiwan. So yes, almost 2 weeks and still fighting the bug.

Sianz.

Imagine how grumpy she is.

I’m also coughing my head off with the same bug. Tired, but sorry, mummy don’t get to sleep well if baby is not well.

So far we have had about 5 changes of bedsheets. She would sleep soundly, then cough in her sleep and vomit. Sometimes she would puke on me too. So heart pain whenever it happens.

Over the weekend she was especially grumpy. Kept throwing herself backwards to kick up a fuss.  Even kicked me in the tummy to get out of the Tula at one point. Again, heart broken. 

I lost my temper a few times too. Guilty, but I’m also human. The exhaustion really made me quite down and kee siao.

Let’s hope the bug goes away soon. Stay at home with baby stint is coming again soon at the end of the month. I want my cheeky baby back in the pink of health, then we can go out to play!

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15 months…. of milestones

Little Foot is 15 months today.

Wow… really, where has all the time gone by?

Every month on this day, I ask myself the same question.

Being a working mother is tough emotionally. Same for the working father.  We go through each day trying to run home as early as possible, just to catch that short window of time before baby falls asleep. And you hope in that short 1 to 2 hours before bedtime, she will suddenly crawl, nod head, clap or walk for the first time. It’s heart wrenching when I am informed that she has crawled or taken a step on her own.
At least I can faithfully celebrate every month-niversary. Today we went for a playdate.  I think she had fun 🙂

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15 months…

♡ Little Foot is more steadily standing and walking assisted. Still not quite ready to let go and walk on her own.
♡ Has 7 teeth (the 8th coming out)
♡Recently developed a bad habit of having meltdowns (terrible two starts early?)
♡ Had tried so many different types of food because of our Taiwan trip.

Some things remains the same…

♡ She still needs to be rocked to sleep in carrier for her naps
♡ Still needs to nurse to sleep at night
♡ Still doesn’t seep through the night
♡ Still encounters constipation / hard stools frequently
♡ Still a biscuit and puffs monster
♡ Still a fan of tetrapaks and straws

15 months on, and I am still a breastfeeding mummy… some days I think of stopping, but watching your restless sleeps, I can’t bear to. Don’t worry, mummy’s  not in a hurry. Be my baby a little longer ok?

Love you lots, my silly kissy baby. I continue to pray that you will always sing your own tune in life, and not feel pressured by your surroundings to conform. I know every milestone,  you are going at your own pace, take your time, baby,  the road ahead is long!

15 months together has been a road filled with self – discovery, laughter and tears… and that’s what makes this journey meaningful and memorable.

I look forward to being here for you for many many more months and years ahead… making memories together.

Hope your flu that is making you grumpy goes away soon!

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Crazy things we do for our bubs

Last evening, Little Foot went to sleep around her normal bedtime. I fell asleep with her, then  got up before midnight to shower and intended to tackle some work that I brought home.

I never even got to take the laptop out of my bag.

Around midnight, she suddenly woke up and cried inconsolably.  Refused to latch, didn’t want to be rocked,  kicked me when I put her in the Tula. We carried her all over the house trying many ways to get her to stop. Entire house woke from the mayhem. I left her with Papa who was also trying in futile to make her stop crying.  Finally I walked out, carried her and brought her to the fridge to choose a packet drink and gave her an extra straw.

Then the sobbing stopped. And she proceeded to watch a YouTube video of bedtime songs (I know, don’t judge me if you are in the “anti-videos and TV for children” camp), while playing with the packet drink and straw.

Ok. We were relieved.  Then after awhile (15 to 20 mins?), she pointed in the direction of our walk-in wardrobe walk – in and started bawling again.

Trust me, Papa Long and I had this “wtf?!” moment. So creepy can?!

And then we start all over again.

Bring her to living room, turn on aircon there, let her play with the whole packet of straws (its all gone…gotta go Daiso buy more). Watch more videos. By then Papa and I were so stoned.

She calmed down and I carried her back to the room.

AND THEN SHE STARTED BAWLING AGAIN!

*pulls hair*

Finally I said “ok, we go gai gai, we go gai gai”. Strapped her in a Tula wearing my Paul Frank print night dress. Then papa and I went to patrol our entire estate with Little Foot holding 4 straws in Tula. At about 2.30am. What a sight we must have looked!

Eventually she was a little sleepy finally and we went back up and I finally managed to get her to lie down and nursed to sleep.

3am.

FML.

Woke up at 7.30 am this morning to see her peaceful face. While I rushed to get my work done and get to office.

I’m glad I’m alive.

Luckily she looks so cute even in her sleep.

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I’m sure years down the road, this will be a good story to tell her.

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The Little Girl at the lift landing

It has been a habit of hers shortly after I started working again.

In the evenings, as if prompted by some invisible clock in her, Little Foot would make enough noise to get our helper to carry her to the corridor outside and stick around at the lift landing. They would stare at the numbers changing as the lifts moved, and look in anticipation whenever the lift door opened. To see if it was me.

I gotta say, this is one of the most amazing things to come home to after a long day – to see Little Foot’s face light up like a megawatt Christmas tree when my lift reaches our floor and the door opens.

I never thought anyone could miss me this much.

I never imagined anyone could love me so much.

And I much less could understand how much joy and warmth something so simple could bring to my very heart and soul.

Thank you my dear Little Foot.

One day in the near future, you won’t bother to be there at the lift landing when I come back in the evenings…. so for now, I wanna lock in that bright smile of yours into my memory vault. So when the day comes, I know I was blessed to experience this, because your smile washes all my tiredness, pain, anguish, sadness all away.

Your smile gives me a sense of purpose and a lot of courage for anything that comes my way.

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And one day, maybe it would be your turn too, to experience such a simple yet profound love, when you become a mama yourself.

XOXO
Mummy is going to smile in my dreams 🙂

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Missing Papa already

Papa Long just left for the airport… headed for a work trip. As I lay in bed with Little Foot, I am acutely aware of the empty futon on the floor where he usually sleeps.

Unlike other jetsetting couples, I hate being apart from Long. The first time he went away without me after our wedding (Taiwan with his parents), I cried myself to sleep alone in our house that suddenly felt too big. He cried himself to sleep in Taiwan too.

Months later, he went to chase the aurora in Iceland without me. Again, I cried myself to sleep for days… even though I was to meet him in Paris a week later.

After that trip, we tried for Little Foot and conceived her a couple of months later. We never left each other for trips.

Our work usually don’t bring us overseas. That’s one of the things I avoid. I hate work trips. And the nature of his work don’t usually require him to travel.

This week he was given short notice to fly to Europe… so he packed last night and left tonight. Being the explorer that he is, I know he’ll be fine.

I just feel so down though…. not having him around unsettles me. This is the first time he is away from me, from us, since Little Foot came into existence. 

Sighh…mummy’s gotta be brave and survive this week. His plane hasn’t taken off and I miss him so much already.

Even Little Foot cried and screamed when we said goodbye and closed the gate.

Time to learn to stand on our own feet this week.

Come home soon,  Papa!

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Stand up!

Came home late, but earlier than planned tonight. Had to cancel my haircut and colouring session because I was really feeling tired and under the weather. 

Best decision ever to come back before Little Foot went to bed.

She proudly got up and stood unassisted for us to see when I was reading some books to her.

Seems like she has been practicing hard.

I’m so proud of her everytime she reaches a new milestone,  but as the milestones cards run out, I can’t help but feel sad and a little emo.

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Everyday, Facebook prompts me “On this day last year” and I get reminded of how tiny and fragile she used to be.
That makes me emo too.

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Little Foot one year ago, clinging to me as she battled colic

I love you so so so much …. then, now, and always… stay cute at every stage ok?

#alwaysbemybaby

XOXO
Mummy

It’s been a long week…

Today is Friday.

It felt like the week was too long this week, perhaps because I am having withdrawal syndrome after spending a good long long weekend with Little Foot (with two days off last week).

Also because I was called back to office on Monday night.

Unexpectedly, work delayed me from returning home tonight. 

Do I blame work? Not really. Work has always been there.

I just realised that  while it was still in my DNA to be absorbed by my work, and this week was mickey mouse in comparison to how hard I used to drive myself, something had changed at my very core.

Me. My attitude towards work. My attitude towards people.

First and foremost, I am Little Foot’s mother. The pre-motherhood me may have had empathy for everyone under the sun. That’s what my religion taught me… so I apply it. Mechanically.

The me today applies empathy to everyone because as a mother I have experienced a transformation of sorts… I have this “don’t want this to happen to my child” attitude. I apply it to everyone and everything instinctively. 

Motherhood perhaps made me unwilling to be judgemental on others, and also unwilling to impose my views and values on others.

Remembering how I used to assume that because I chiong at work, people in my team should do so too. I laughed at how clueless I was…. there is life beyond work. And some people made it a point to have a different kind of priority list from the chronic workoholic.  I’ve been there and now I’m on the other side of the fence.

Life does have a way of boomeranging back on us.

And so tonight I rushed back in time to catch Little Foot before she slept. We hugged and I nursed her to sleep. I sang to her. I patted her backside.

And I wanted to cry.

How I missed her the whole week… yet I hardly had time to miss her.
I can’t help but wonder what I’ve missed while away from her.

And I wanted to cry. Mentally, it is exhausting, focusing on not thinking about the one person you just want to think about, so I can finish work and get back to her sooner rather than later.

I hope in the course of my work, I don’t have to unknowingly do anything that would take someone else away from their family unless there is really no choice.

As a wise friend once said, we always have a choice. We just assume we don’t.

How true.

Thank God for all the small pockets of time spent together. 

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A quick wefie the moment I walked through the door

Thank God it’s Friday.

Little Foot at Pororo Park

Today, Papa Long and I took leave to babysit Little Foot and her baby cousin baby K who is temporarily at our house on weekdays. Since baby K arrived, my aunt had been coming over to help look after her. Today was to give her a break so she could catch up on her housework and rest a little.

As usual, flower legs mummy didn’t want to stay home to babysit, so I asked the Papa to take leave too…and so off we headed to Pororo Park at Marina Square (with permission from my bro and his wife of course!)

This is not going to be a review of Pororo Park, because others have already done a good job (you can check out bumblebeemum’s review).

I just wanted to share that Little Foot had a lot of fun today.

Do note that for babies, there isn’t much they can do there.

Baby K, at 6 mths young, was pretty much only able to play at the babies and toddlers zone…  and she also bravely went to the Shark ball pool with Little Foot (with me watching like a hawk and trying to cordon off the spot they were playing in, shielding them from the big kids).

 

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The above photos pretty much summed up what baby K did at the park (besides taking photos with all the Pororo stuff).

As for our Little Foot who hasn’t yet started walking, she attempted most of the stuff in the park except for the Jungle Gym and the activity room (where the older kids do some coloring or dunnowhat).

She even bravely rode the Pororo Express, which is the highlight of the park, although I must admit, I was super apprehensive about it, but decided to let her try because must get out money’s worth! And I tell you, when the train jerked and she got a shock, my heart nearly stopped beating! (And then I recovered speedily and started laughing at her reaction).

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Little Foot also amazed me by taking off steadily with this tricycle thing in the park. I mean, she can’t walk yet, but she used it quite skillfully!

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She did some crawling and climbing…

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Stood up and played with this brainy looking toy which baby K also liked…

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Pretended to play with a workbench and piano( which she lost interest very quickly)…

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Had a go on the swing and slides…

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“Swam” in the ball pool…

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Took lots of pictures with the characters, and watched the musical.

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At first I thought the two hour limit per entry was rather short, but I was pretty much exhausted after 1 hour, since we had to assist the babies in everything.

Verdict:
Mummy fulfilled her Pororo wish (I’m a closet fan), and we had a fun afternoon there. Worth it to go for experience and to take photos with the characters, may not be worth it to get annual pass, as I won’t see us going again until Little Foot is old enough to try the jungle gym. I do think the price list is a little steep if your kid is more than a year old (babies under 1 year old enters for free).

For babies and young toddlers, going on weekday is recommended. I heard many people telling me it’s crowded on weekends , so it can be a little scary for the babies if big kids dive into the ball pool, or ram them on the tricycles.

And I do hope they fix that jerking issue on the Pororo Express.

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