Parenthood

A Winter ONEderland celebration!

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What a day it was yesterday!

In the dead town of the CBD area on a Saturday (seriously,  it’s so different from the weekday hustle bustle), something exciting was brewing on the 8th floor of One Marina Boulevard. We gotta thank our fellow mummy organisers for pulling this gig off!

About 90 babies, their mummies, daddies, siblings, some grandmas and helpers gathered for a very special party aptly themed “Winter ONEderland”.

It’s our December 2014 babies One Year Young mega bash! The party was scheduled ahead of December so it wouldn’t clash with our individual parties.

We set off bright and early, but only managed to arrive on time (after getting a little lost downtown), collected our goodie bag and went to explore the toy zone and photobooths.

Didn’t capture much of the toy zone as my hands were full making sure Little Foot didn’t topple off the bouncy horses or fall headlong down the mini slide into the ball pool, but she enjoyed her short play for sure.

Here’s our fellow Panda babies enjoying themselves (taken by Huiyuu)

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A Major highlight was the photo booths.

Awesome setup by Phooth to suit our theme. (Photo By Papa Long)

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We also loved the pink DIY booth by our fellow mummies.

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Phooth also sponsored a large setup for instant photo prints. We didn’t manage to get a family shot in time as Little Foot fell asleep, but we got something more special — a Panda Mummies group shot!

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I spent a lot of time catching up with mummies whom I haven’t seen since Little Foot was about 4 mths old or even younger. We had all these playdates before many went back to work after the 4 mths maternity leave ran out… I missed them  a lot. It was a rather emotional gathering for me too as I see how everyone’s little ones had sprouted.  No longer fragile looking, there was a lot of laughter and mayhem with the little ones crawling everywhere and some had already started walking!  Here’s us with one of the dear friends I missed.

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Another interesting sponsor was the freshly pressed juices from juiC… just nice,  I was thirsty after chatting with so many mummies, the juice samples were refreshing. You know me and fruits are not really friends, but the concoctions were really quite good!

Of course…what is a party without cakes and a dessert table right? (Giant cake kindly sponsored by Prudential. I heard it was just nice and not too sweet).

By the way, the super animated Penguin mascot was one of the Daddies in disguise!
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Admidst all the madness, my closest friends, the Panda mummies, tried to get a decent shot of our babies… a little tricky! By the time we were done, I was sweating like mad!
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And then we went back for the mega photo session. Imagine the chaos!
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Post party, Little Foot simply couldn’t wind down for the evening. Too much adrenaline! We had her camp out in her cot and do shuttle runs up and down our tiny corridor in her walker to burn off her energy.
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Thank you sponsors and organisers for the party and the memories… till our next party!
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The perils of Facebook interest groups

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Just awhile ago, on a babywearing Facebook group, a mummy posted that her husband was angry with her for buying another Tula. It made her scared. As the story unfolded and people jumped in with ideas and suggestions, it came out that they owed credit card bills (it’s her husband’s debts not hers) for months. She bought a Tula. And she is extremely reluctant to sell the other Tulas she own to offset the one she just purchased.

Addiction? Peer pressure? I don’t know.

In all these Facebook interest groups, whether it is babywearing or Ju-ju-be or Daiso, it becomes easy to get carried away and think that it is “normal” to have excess… and after awhile the price tag becomes just a number you are immuned to.

I am very guilty of it.

I see people posting stash shots. I want to have a stash like that too! And being a person prone to excesses (remember my wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling cabinet for shoes), I did definitely build my own stashes.

The scary thing about these Facebook groups is that when an item goes up for sale on the BST (Buy Sell Trade) pages, people almost immediately reply with “PM!” and that makes you freak out and anyhow PM the next seller in case you miss out that “good deal” or “hard to find design”.

I am guilty as charged. The only  consolation is, I’m not eating into money meant for necessities, and I have the next paycheck coming again.

When the mama made that post anit really saddened me..why would owning the next tula take higher priority than getting the family out of debt which is obviously causing some sort of stress to the husband? We have let something good like babywearing become that evil thing that drives a wedge between husband and wife.

I have shared all the merits of babywearing and using SSCs all this while.  Today, I feel that we need to go back to why we babywear. It is a tool for bonding with baby; an aid for tired arms and restless babies. However, the most important thing a baby needs is not a branded carrier. It is LOVE and a happy family will provide that love, not material needs.

I am happy that while we are not filthy rich, we are not lacking financially. I’m grateful that my husband while not entirely indulgent,  has never seen a need to get upset over my spending habits. He just sporadically reminds me whenever it gets too out of hand.

I hope that the mama, and anyone else in the same situation out there will make the right choices eventually.

Don’t get swept away by the craze online.

Lots of giggles and chuckles on our last day

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DAY 331.

5 days shy of Little Foot turning 11 months young.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity, we went out and played the day away.

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Thanks to a few of my fellow Dec mummy friends. We went to Giggles at Marine Parade and had loads of fun.

Little Foot always loved a good swing,  so she was completely happy to sit in the swing for a loooong time. And slides, and things to bite, touch, pull and throw. Awesome! And she no longer fears the ball pool.  Yay!

There was more playtime at her grandparents’ place in the evening. It’s amazing how one rainbow coloured big bouncing ball could keep her clapping and chuckling and occupied for quite awhile 🙂

Tired Little Foot is finally asleep after we got home and showered her.

Tomorrow is a brand new beginning as we adjust to life away from each other in the day.

I’m getting a grip on my thoughts and emotions. May absence make our hearts fonder!

Thank you my friends for making my last day as a SAHM a memorable one. XOXO!

And now, to pack my bag for tomorrow. #feelingbleargh

And…. it’s a wrap!

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Today is my last weekday as a SAHM. Come Monday, I will be going back to work. It is a bittersweet day for me.

I spent my late morning entertaining her while she playfully kept crawling over and tugging on my top.

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Then I hit the gym. Last chance to go during off peak hours. Later in the afternoon,  we went to Orchard to shop.

On my way to gym, I actually felt so many different emotions all at once.

This is it. 329 Days spent with my baby, and this chapter has come to an end.  I am relieved – that all the minor issues detected at birth has been sorted out quickly.  I am so proud of her – growing from 2.645kg to 8.6kg, and all the many milestones achieved in this nearly 11 months. I am blessed – that I was able to have a chance to participate so intimately and almost 24/7 in this whole period. I am sad, it’s breaking my heart, that this has to end.

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Little Foot, please jiayou for Mummy. Going back to work is necessary, for you and for me, as I find my footing again in what I think I do best. Your naive mama continues to think that in her own little ways, she can make a difference to Singapore.

You have defined me as a mother over this whole period. Some days, I feel you are the teacher as I keep learning and relearning. You redefined life and its significance in a way I could never have understood before. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I hope our bond will always be strong. Thank you for being here and growing well.

I will always look back on this time spent together and replay all the little pockets of memories we’ve built in my head whenever things get hard or my breath gets short. 

Remember, no matter what happens and how many years may have passed, mama loves you so much, and I always will.

Thank you for making this a home full of memories, thank you for coming into this world and being my daughter.  You were all we hoped for and more.

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Remember your newborn days…

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your first Christmas at 20 days old… you were still so tiny…

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your chubby little angel face just a day shy of 6 weeks old…

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Your botak head look And signature frowny face…

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Your “Summon Auntie” look…

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your pursed lips look..

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Your gummy smiles…

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And even your cries. All a part of our fond memories. 

I will miss this 329 days and will look back fondly…. so many memories imprinted in my mind.

Please continue to give me your biggest grin whenever I open the front door. I am sure it will wash my stresses and pains away.

I love you to the moon and back. 

And … yes. It’s a wrap to my SAHM life. 

I hope you forget tonight

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Dear Little Foot,

I hope you forget tonight,  a night where you cried big tears as you resisted sleep. A night where you refused to latch, and tried to struggle out of the carrier. A night when Mummy said hurtful things to you in desperate exasperation as nothing worked and you just kept crying and throwing a tantrum.

Every day with you should be a blessing, even on such days. Yet there are times when I can’t help but ask God why he took my health away from me. In exchange I got you ….and loss of sleep … and loss of freedom and my old life.

Forgive me for the harsh words that spewed out. I don’t love you lesser on these days. It’s just Mummy is bring a brat and still adapting to our life. And next week, we both will have to adapt again as my work comes back into the equation.

Good night my baby…. please don’t resist sleep too often.  I’m sorry that I fail you on days like this.

I love you.

XOXO,
Your still P-plate Mummy

Afternote:

After a night’s rest, and some reflection, we seem to have put last night behind us…. In this whole trying situation, Daddy also got a tongue lashing from me. I guess it’s every mummy’s dilemma –  I need help, yet don’t know where I need the help, so we leave the daddy helpless and waiting to be scolded. 

There are bad nights, there are good. One article popped up on my Facebook feed – don’t let your child’s behaviour drive you crazy. Look beyond the behaviour and ask yourself what your child needs in a situation. My knee-jerk tantrums together with her crankiness really didn’t help the situation.

Sighh… motherhood, there is still so much to learn. Next time, I will try to be much better. 

Count to 10!

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Yep… Little Foot is 10 Months young today. Time ah time…. why did you just fleet by?

Life has become busier with her becoming more mobile. She’s now a good crawler, mastering tummy off ground just a couple of days ago. And always testing waters… going to the edge of the bed, crawling beyond the playmat to the dining area. She’s also been pulling herself up to stand, and finally figured out how to manoeuvre the baby walker, steering right into the kitchen after us!

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And finally there is a distinct bump of a tooth trying hard to cut through her gums. Gummy smile will soon be no more… I will miss it, but at 10 months,  it’s about time some teeth showed!

Thank you for 10 months of love my Little Foot… I know you love me even when  you are pulling my hair really hard.

Oh man…time flies and the 1st birthday is approaching!  Time to stop slacking and start the preparations!

And we have 1 month left to figure out how to settle your milk affairs without latching. Please take to the bottle (and formula milk) soon!

P.S.  I managed to bake today. Makes me happy although Little Foot kept making noise and wanted to latch, I had to take a break in between the first and second batch of cookies. I still remembered that the last time I baked, she were not even 20 weeks old in my tummy….then I baked because I had a sudden urge to, and my mum said it must be a girl! And she was right 🙂 

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Seriously tickled

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Gotta blog this moment that took place tonight!

People always talk about how babies are like sponges and they learn soooo fast. Ok, really no kidding.

Tonight, Little Foot gave me a taste of my own medicine.  We’ve been making fart sounds on her tummy, back and neck to make her giggle since she was a small little bundle. She gave it all back to me tonight.

Tonight, while trying to make her sleep (latching), she decided to worm around the bed and flip here and there. The next thing I knew, she started sucking on my tummy. Tickled me so bad, I squirmed, wriggled and laughed, and the little cheeky rascal found it so funny she giggled really hard and laughed out loud! This went on for about 5 to 10 minutes. Mummy and baby kept laughing and giggling. She kept pouncing on me and make “zhuut zhuut” sounds on my tummy… I laughed and wriggled, she laughed and giggled too.

Funny how this little one gets tickled by the strangest things –previously she laughed whenever I pretended to vomit/spew blood or choke.

What a happy way to end our week 🙂

It was a really trying week to be honest. She’s shifting her nap patterns again, was extra grumpy the whole week (I really hope it’s really a sign of her teeth coming out). Fussy baby doesn’t want to be in carrier or exersaucer, would have moments where she refuse to sit, lie down, stand and be carried (exasperation!)

I lost patience a couple of times this week, especially that day when she clawed my face and broke skin,  and yesterday, when I couldn’t order dinner after 1 hour of trying while struggling with a wormy whiny Little Foot. I was tired. I wanted to lie down and rest too, but rest is not granted if you are the mummy.

So, to see her laugh so happily tonight is really a relief and a nice change of mood.  I really loved and enjoyed that happy moment between us…. definitely a fond memory to keep!

Keep calm and giggle on baby, life is too short to keep frowning, whining and crying.

Smells like biscuits

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Little Foot went to bed quite early tonight. As always, she has would still wake up and cry on and off.

Tonight, I remark to Daddy Long how her hair smells like biscuits… the oh – so – familiar smell of my baby… I can’t help but smell a few more times.

Earlier today,  I went back to my workplace to have a quick chat with my new supervisor. Time has flown by. Five weeks left to my return to work. Little Foot will be almost 11 months by then.

Even as I start preparing myself to return, I know even at the 11th hour, we will not be ready. Which mother is ever ready really?

Thinking of how she will keep waiting for me to come home for her next feed and I fail to appear at the door is heart-wrenching already. :'(:'(:'(

A part of me don’t want to stop latching because time is running out. Another part of me (the rational one) tells me I should at least get her used to regularly using the milk bottle again in the day time.

Sighhh…. I will really miss my biscuit-smell baby when I am back at work.

Separation anxiety is real. And it applies to mum and baby equally. Where has all the time gone??

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I will miss all the lame “we are so bored at home, let’s take a wefie” moments with her.

Yet even at such low moments,  I must remind myself that I had 6 months more than most of my mummy friends to spend with my little one. I hope the bond we’ve built in this time will last us a lifetime. I really hope so.

That two loud thuds that cracked my heart

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This morning at 34 Weeks and 1 Day, Little Foot fell off the bed. Thankfully she landed in a fortunate spot. Still, we wish we were more fortunate.

The mister had decided to place her beside me for morning feed and had gone to the living room to get his breather.

[Note — my brain never functions well between 6am to 930 am. That’s the time I’m dead to the world after pockets of night feeds.]

Apparently, she had gotten her feed, but she got bored and decided to explore the new-found side of the world. Only a few days ago, she finally figured out how to roll to her right. My guess is she was reaching for the much coveted aircon remote and the even more coveted handphones on that side table. So she fell off. Two loud thuds (probably something hit the side table first) woke me up and my heart cracked. I screamed and retrieved her. Luckily she landed on her Daddy’s big buckwheat pillow on the Totoro futon that he’s been camping on.

She cried for about a minute, latched for comfort and then moved on. How nice that babies can forgive easily. I was left pondering why it happened, why no one placed a bolster there. And I spent the day searching for a bump or looking out for any signs that she might be hurt more than we realised.

Well, here’s her at music class today.

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Completely energetic. And feisty as usual. She even mastered arms out in carrier today, and found a new fetish for the texture and sound of plastic bags. So we can safely say she’s feeling good.

I guess this marks the start of Little Foot’s Adventures around the house and into the world…. and a signal to really try to finish babyproofing the place asap.

Daddy as usual could still say jokingly that we should make her a milestone card that says “Today I rolled off the bed for the first time”.

At times like this, I know whether to laugh or cry. May be easier to strangle him and make him a milestone card for it too. Hmmph!